I watched my daughter this past weekend (19/5). We were at my sister’s in-laws. The kids and grandparents had the tv on and all sitting on the couch. I saw my daughter snuggle into the grandmother (my sister’s mother-in-law) and I noticed what a safe-harbour she is, not only for her own grand-kids but for others also. My daughter seemed uncharacteristically secure and at peace. My sisters mother in law makes herself out to be grandmother-to-all, refers to herself in the third-person as “Nanny”. My wife hates it and discourages this relationship between our kids and someone who’s not their own Nanny. Wife makes the kids call her by name and not “Nanny”.
I do wonder if my daughter has such a safe haven anywhere else in her life. Does she get that with her own grandmother?
I feel like my daughters parents are not providing such a safe harbour. At home daughter gets yelled at too much by mum and dad. Perhaps she has safety with her brother. That’s why she’d rather play with him in the schoolyard that kids from her class, kids her own age. She does have trouble making friends. My son plays with her, but why would any other kids want to?
I wonder if her struggle to make friendships are because of the destructive relationships she has at home. Because the template she has for loving relationships is one of combat. Other kids experiencing her combat won't want to play with her.
When discussing this with my wife and she dismisses this view. She puts it down to her epilepsy. Her condition is what stops her from forming loving relationships. I don't know, that doesn't seem right to me.
